Resolving Conflict

People will be people.   I wish everyone could get along and never have deal with strife, disagreements, jealously,  misunderstandings, offenses and sin in general.  But, that is not reality.  In fact, even in our relationship with God, we need a mediator (1 Timothy 2:5). 

I am so glad that Christ gave a plan for unity in the church.   Not only does the Word provide information about the sin of division, discord (Proverbs 6:19), envy and strife (James 3:16).   It also provides us with a  standard of behavior  to live by and  a ‘how to’ for fixing the problems.  Paul’s letter to the Ephesians says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32).  

Jesus gave an instance of what to do when your brother has sinned against you.   He instructed, “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother." (Matt 18:15).   “If he hear thee”  is very important, but not nearly as important as you going to your brother in the first place.  Paul said as much in his letter to the churches of Galatia,  “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).  I realize this in not limited to the one who has been sinned against, but it certainly applies.

Then, there is another instance, of where a spiritually conscientious person realizes that his worship of God is meaningless unless his relationship with his brother is made right.    Jesus said, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;  Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24).  While the immediate context is about anger control it is also about right relationships.  Think about it.  Jesus is saying that repentance and reconciliation with your brother trumps worship.  Stop your worship to  repent and get right with a brother?  Yep!  In fact,  Jesus went on to say, “Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison” (v. 25).    In other words, reconcile with your accuser speedily before it ever goes to court. 

 

Christians are to go out of their way to maintain proper relationships.  John said, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?”  (I John 4:20).  I am not interested in sinning against folks nor am I interested in causing them to stumble (1 John 2:10).  If I am concerned about my relationship with God and my brethren,  that I will be eager to resolve conflict when I know it happens.